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Jeff thought he had lost just about everything when his wife, Nancy, died of breast cancer at age forty-foui leaving him with their two young children to raise. As it turned out, his losses were just beginning.
Before I met Nancy, I had sort of thought I would never get married or have kids, but she was different. She had moved from New York to California six years ago and found she just loved it here. About six months before we met, she bought a house for $225,000. It was kind of run-down, but she wanted to fix it up. That’s how we met. I’m a contractor with my own firm, and I came over to give her some estimates. I ended up doing the job for free—because six months later we were living together. We worked on the house together and it was transformed. Supposedly it’s worth about $300,000 by now.
To our surprise, Nancy got pregnant—she had never thought she could—and soon we were married, with two daughters. After our daughter was born, Nancy’s mother came to visit, and she didn’t like me at all; I know she thought I wasn’t good enough for Nancy. But it didn’t really matter, because she lived in New York and we hardly ever saw her.
Last year, Nancy was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had surgery, radiation, chemo, the entire treatment. The whole process scared us because we never really knew if Nancy was going to be okay or not. We realized that we never had given much thought to these things and that we didn’t even have a will. It was Nancy who insisted we have one drawn up. The house was still in her name, just as it was when we met, but in the will she left it to me. It was a given that I’d take care of the kids; I love my girls. She knew I’d find a way. In the end things happened so fast. Nancy wanted to die at home, but the health insurance didn’t cover the hospice care. So when the time came, I paid for it with credit cards. It was hard. 1 wasn’t working very much because I wanted to be with her all the way through this.
After Nancy died three months ago, I went back to the lawyer to see what came next. Maybe I should have just taken the kids and left town. The probate fees on the house are going to be enormous. No way do I have that; all our savings went to the hospice people, and now I have credit card bills, too, plus I gave up a lot of jobs to be with my wife. The lawyer says that unless I pay these probate fees, he will probably force the sale of the house. That’s not all. Now Nancy’s mother has flown out from New York, says she wants the kids, that she can give them private schools, and that I’m not a good father. That’s not true, and the attorney says it will never happen, but now I have attorney’s fees up to here. Even if I could get the money for the probate fees—which feels like making bail or something—now I’ll have to sell the house anyway, to pay the attorney’s fees and the credit cards. So the kids and I will lose the house regardless. All that work we put into it. I thought nothing could get worse after I lost my wife. I thought wrong.

Out of every hour of commercial television your family watches, you’ll see about ten minutes of advertisements. You can continue to watch, turn down the volume and talk about something else, or you can substitute your own commercial.
• Invent a Product. What new product or service would your children like to advertise in a thirty- or sixty-second commercial break? They should plan their substitute advert for half as long to compensate for false starts and typical under-estimations.
Perhaps the children can come up with a jingle or catchy slogan. If you have a cassette recorder, encourage them to pre-record the advert once they have written and rehearsed it; otherwise, they can rehearse and perform live.
During one of the program breaks, quickly turn down the volume or turn çff the TV altogether and let the children take over. Whenever they feel like repeating their advert, let them. Don’t you have to listen to real commercials again and again?
• Public Service Message. In addition to showing advertisements, channels sometimes also broadcast public service messages.
Your children may enjoy producing a public service message. This may require a little reading and research at the library. Perhaps they can instruct their audience in home fire safety, ask their co-operation in saving water or electricity, or warn them about a local outbreak of meningitis.

Probate fees vary from state to state—but you get the idea. Probating a will takes time and money, no matter what state you’re in. If your estate is very small, you might be able to avoid probate with a simple will. Assets valued at less than $60,000 to $100,000 (depending on the state) can be transferred to your heir by a simple process called probate affidavit. It costs very little, doesn’t take much time, and makes it easy for your survivors to receive what you want them to. Probate affidavit forms are available in most banks at no cost. Be careful, though. Your estate could be worth more than you think. See page 107 for assessing your net worth.
Keep in mind, too, that wills can be contested, which means that anyone who thinks he or she should have something in the will that the deceased left to someone else has the right to come to the court and ask for it. Then the judge has to decide. Also, although people commonly use wills to specify guardians for their children, this recommendation is not binding. It can only express one’s wishes. Even though Jeff is the legal father, and even though the will expressed Nancy’s desire that he be the sole guardian of the children, the legal guardianship of children always rests in the hands of the court. Nancy’s mother knew what she was doing when she flew to California to ask the court for the children. Will she get them? It’s unlikely, but the court will make its decisions based on whatever it feels is in the best interest of the children.
Could Nancy have arranged her affairs differently, to save all this agony and expense? At least some of it could have been avoided if Nancy had set up a revocable living trust.